No Offence, But . . . .

No offence, but………

This post was inspired by a comment that was made about my weight. (I will say inspired, because I was inspired to not behave like this individual…ever). The first time ever in my life that anyone has ever said anything negative about me having a “few extra pounds” on.

You see I have always been very petite, tiny, and at times underweight. I have only been used to people making rude comments about being “too skinny”. I’ve heard “are you anorexic or bulimic?” “You mustn’t eat anything”. “You must be starving yourself or on a diet all the time”. I’ve heard it all.

My 80 year old Irish Catholic aunt used to say things like “there’s more meat on Good Friday”, or “My God if we get a good gust of wind you will blow away”. Now those comments have changed to “you look healthy”, “ya got some arse on ya”, and “you must be eating well”. None of these comments I EVER took offence to. Mostly because she always said it with affection as she patted me on my bum.

But, this turn of events was quite different, but the same in some ways. An “acquaintance” making a comment in a negative way about my weight gain wasn’t the same as my aunts comments. The sting and punch in the gut feeling was still the same as the rude hurtful comments from when I was very skinny. (Just like the passive aggressive friend in the movie Bridget Jones Diary, whom everyone warned “jellyfisher alert!” when she approached their table.)

What this woman doesn’t know about me is that prior to this weight gain, is that there was a series of events that brought me to this point.

Now don’t get me wrong, I know I don’t need to justify anything to this acquaintance; however, I felt the need to put this little story out into the world. Maybe it will make people think twice before speaking, support another fellow human, or just encourage other women struggling with their own body confidence, etc.

At 47 years old, 15-20lbs heavier than what I normally weigh, that leaves me at 5’2” and 138lbs. No according to an online BMI calculator, I am classified as overweight. For my height a “normal” weight for me should be “101.2 to 136.7lbs.

Despite that, I feel like I am in pretty good shape. (Minus the muffin top, the uni-ab, the dimples in areas other than my cheeks, etc). I am active, I watch what I eat most of the time, and I have pretty much conquered stress.

But to bring me back to how I got to 15-20lbs heavier, that series of events that started almost 2 years ago:

⁃ a hemrrhoidectomy which left me debilitated for a few months, which reduced my ability to exercise exponentially

⁃ Followed by a year long battle with depression and anxiety that no one knew about other than my husband, my best friend and my doctor. This resulted in taking medication for that full year. Side effect??? Yep! You guessed it – weight gain

⁃ This was followed by a serious bout of colitis which was caused by antibiotics taken for an infected tooth.

Despite all that, I am working on myself all the time. I am a Registered Cardiology Technologist and a Health and Life coach who struggles with my own health issues and battles. I have been there, I have fought silent battles, I have struggled with my own weight, whether to try to gain or try to lose at different points in my life. I have put things into my body that I know are not good for me, but I never stop trying. I never give up on myself. That doesn’t make me a bad or mediocre coach. That makes me HUMAN, experienced in life with all sorts of struggles and an exceptional coach!!

So to the lady who feels the need to begin her statements with “no offence, but…. before she completes a negative comment about others; the moral of my story is that you have no idea what another person is going through. Keep your shitty comments to yourself. Life is an uphill battle everyday for all of us.

Go work on yourself instead of tearing others down. Life is much easier when women have each other’s backs.

For now I will continue to rock my bikini with my dimpled belly and when I get to the point where I have a flat stomach and abs, you’re damn right I will rock it then too!

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